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I feel tired and already lonely. Work will feel longer than usual today.
Is it wrong to want more than minutes of contact? Is it just that no time would be long enough for me? I donapos;t know. I feel like a needy, nagging moron-- I frustrate myself so much. Maybe I just need prioritize sleep so I just prevent my own stupidity.
I feel like I never talk to anyone anymore.
My parents tell me to apos;be in the present,apos; and I canapos;t seem to. There is nothing present in my life, everything is out of my grasp. I cannot get a job I want. I cannot contact my girlfriend really, outside of a few hours. I have nothing but the promise of so much if I can just get past my self-undercutting. I need to disappoint myself less.
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Imagine that you are in your vehicle and
Driving in a part of town that you are not unaccustomed to. You've
Heard about this new store and you wanted to check out its merchandise
To find that perfect gift for that loved one.



You find yourself in the right hand lane and approaching a traffic
Signal. The lane you are in is a right turn only lane and you want to
Go straight ahead. Looking to your left there are many cars that are
Following the one that is beside you. But, you decide to take a chance
And go through the traffic signal and not make the right turn. Well as,
As luck would have at their, waiting for you, is a motorcycle cop.



As he hands you your ticket, the police officer states what your
Options are and wishes you a good day. He then drives off and leaves
You feeling angry and stupid for not obeying the traffic laws. Days
Later you receive a notice in the mail telling you what your infraction
Was and what your options are to take care of this ticket.



Those options include just mailing in your fine via a check, going to
Court to plead your case before the judge or by attending a defensive
Traffic driving school course.



The Benefits Of Taking A Defensive Traffic Driving School



One of the options that are offered by the Department of Motor Vehicles
Is the opportunity to attend a defensive driving school. There are a
Number of benefits associated with deciding upon this course of action.




First of all, you will not have to pay the fine after attending and
Successfully completing a course with a defensive traffic driving
School. However, you will need to pay for the tuition associated with
Attending this class. Most of the defensive traffic driving school
Classes cost the equivalent of the fine. Generally, the class can be
Taken during the work week which may mean you need to miss work for a
Day. However, there are many defensive traffic driving school classes
That can be taken during the evening or on the weekend.



Another benefit of attending a defensive traffic driving school is to
Keep the traffic violation off of your driving record. This is an
Important consideration in that any infractions recorded on your
Driving record may affect your insurance rates.



One additional benefit of attending defensive driving school is the
Fact that it will provide you with an opportunity to refresh your
Defensive driving skills.



Various Venues



There are many venues offered in regards to attending a defensive
Traffic driving school. Three particular ways of taking advantage of
This school is through the Internet, by attending class, and going to a
Comedy oriented defensive traffic driving school.



By enrolling online, the defensive traffic driving school curriculum
Can be accomplished from the privacy and convenience of your own home.
By physically attending a defensive traffic driving school and
Sacrificing your time to attend the class the lesson will be enforced
In regards to obeying the traffic rules of the road. Finally, by
Attending a defensive traffic driving school that provides a comic
Atmosphere, the lesson learned will be bitter sweet.

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If women donapos;t have a Chiyuv (religious obligation) to eat in a Sukkah, but do anyway, do they have to make the Bracha of Leshev BaSukkah, or are they covered when whoever is making Kiddush says it...

Actually, do all individuals eating in a Sukkah, both male and female, have an obligation to each say the bracha, or are they apos;coveredapos; under the bracha said by the person making Kiddush?

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Thereapos;s this strange universe where L. And I�live..... The one where things keep getting better and stronger and more fabulous over the phone and it seems like we fit together and mesh and it just makes sense.� Then weapos;re in front of each other and it all goes to shit. �I mean literally, today could NOT�have gone worse.� I felt like how the heck are you going to make a big deal about coming down for church and to see me and whatnot and then not spend any time with me and act like you donapos;t care to???� I�mean, WTF????� He didnapos;t even offer what are you up to today, can you stay and hang out for a bit, no, he OPENED that car door and put me in it� I was stunned� It was a 5 minute interraction after�8�MONTHS of nothing.� And then to not call and tell me he was coming.� To not look for me at the church or even after church was out.... To go chill and talk to some friend of his and wait for ME�to come up to him and my parents are already in the car and OVER�IT.� I�mean they were like he canapos;t even come over to you and meet us?� I just didnapos;t get it.� My cousin said that he probably had someone else there at the church that he wanted to talk to and didnapos;t want me to be around to mess up his game, BUT he SUFFICIENTLY screwed up MY game by cockblocking Justin and any of the other guys that were there that I MAY want to talk to.� It just felt like I didnapos;t matter to him at all.� Where was the excitement, where was the joy to see me, where was the care, where was the "I Give A Damn?"� It just made my whole day suck.� I just couldnapos;t believe he acted so nonchalant and just like "whatever."�

You know the thing is... Is that he will never know.� He doesnapos;t get it, he doesnapos;t understand what caring about someone is like.� He KNOWS how I feel about him, he knows I like him, want to be with him, I care about him, etc.� He never has to question it, he just knows.� And that gives him the power, that gives him the upper hand.� Because he thinks I will always be there.� I will not always be there.� Is it too much to ask for him to SHOW through his actions what he SAYS he feels over the phone???� It never translates to something tangible when heapos;s in front of me.� Never.� I have never felt like I was this cherished, amazing person that he couldnapos;t stand to be away from, part with or be without.� Iapos;m just someone passing the time for him.� Iapos;m not that person that he canapos;t be without.� So he doesnapos;t deserve to be that person for me.

I have often wondered why he kept popping into my life for all of these years and I think it was to teach me more about myself and what I equate with my self-worth and how that pertains to relationships with guys and not about the fact that heapos;s supposed to be in my life for all time.� I mean yeah, I fell for the guy and I grew to really care for him and trust him and all of those things were important for me to experience and learn how to do.� But, ohhhhhh but.� He is not the right one for me.� Heapos;s not the right one for me to be with, care about as much as I do, none of that.� So I need to get over him.� I need to be done, and over him.� I am OFFICIALLY stating here and now that I WANT to get over him and I donapos;t want him to be a part of my life in that way.

I want and need someone who is crazy about me just as MUCH as I am about them.

He just doesnapos;t know.� He doesnapos;t know what he lost.� But he will.

Does he wonder why I am into him and think that heapos;s not worthy?� Why does he act like he could care less about me??????

Ughhhh.� JERK.

Over him.

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In the old vein of apos;you donapos;t know unless you tryapos; I thought Iapos;d head down to Autobarn (the closest auto shop to mine) to see if they had something that would do.

I picked out an extendable socket set that was quite cheap, as in the single bits, they didnapos;t have the size I need.

I went to the counter and said apos;look, Iapos;m sorry, I donapos;t think this will go through on my card, but I need to tryapos;.

IT WENT THROUGH.

Giggity giggity

And itapos;s working a treat. Left rear shock assembly out YESSSSSSSS

I might be able to get some sleep on Thursday night at this rate. Heheheheheeheheheh.

I must admit the salesman was quite amused by my ecstatic happiness.

Oh, and there was a light blue MG TC outside when I pulled up, with tan interior. Gorgeous.

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My day of laziness.

I ought to go to library, but I donapos;t feel like it.�I am�too lazy to move anywhere...and I stayed at home and� watched �animated all day. It was funnily. I love sweet course and today I organize "The day of CANDY". In my opinion, candy-the best for improving spirits. Lapos;ll advise you this;)) . But in the evening I left for my motherapos;s job and my day of laziness finished.What about my future plans- tomorrow I want to go to library...
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One more day of work and then 3 DAY WEEKEND My sister and her boyfriend are back from Serbia, so my mom has a "Great American Meal" planned for Saturday. Iapos;m pretty sure Bran has had mashed potatoes and baked chicken before, but itapos;s cute of my mom to plan everything. Iapos;m supposed to bring the snacks for later in the evening...suggestions?

On a completely different note, I came across this video last week and it amuses me every time I watch it. Iapos;m not a Britney fan, but the timing of the music and dance moves works really well in this one:


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[Filtered to Yuuki and Yori]

Yuuki, Iapos;m fine with you going out as long as you arenapos;t alone. That goes for Yori too. Itapos;s a good idea to stick together until you are used to everyone in the city. Most people seem to be fine, but there are a few questionable people around that shouldnapos;t be trusted.

[Filtered to Anyone with an Interest in Vampires]

Iapos;ve heard rumor that someone had taken survey of the Vampires in the city prior to my arrival. Does anyone know who possesses that information or where it could be found?

The apparent apos;rulesapos; here are much different from those in my home world and Iapos;m wanting to step up my education on the differences between the creatures I am used to and the ones that reside here in the city.� A weapon from my home world that was crafted specifically for exterminating vampires did not do as much damage here as it had back home.

Any knowledge is welcome.






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Iapos;m glad�I�have nothing to talk about thats more interesting than how upset or pissed off I am. So iapos;m sorrry. But if you donapos;t wanna read about it, then donapos;t. Today has sucked. Iapos;m offically pissed off like no other thanks to Patrick. Im so sick of the way he treats me. Iapos;m not even going to go into it. Iapos;d just like to ask myself one question, "You put up with for 4 years from David. Now heapos;s doing it to you all over again. Why put up with it if it hurts you so bad??"

"Because I love him, and until I fall out of love with him,
having part of him is better than not having anything at all."




Stupid girl.

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