female slaves in the plantation south

Note to self: donapos;t drink too fast. We are not a tap water breathing fish.


DD came over for the weekend. Apparently Iapos;m a huge bitch because I popped Dustin with a pillow because he was snoring during El espianzo del diablo. So sorry my friend. I did not realize the man who, as a rule, lets his alarm clock ring for at least thirty minutes before shutting it off would respond to a gentle, "Youapos;re snoring."

Then I caught some kind of flu and have been variously puking and feeling like passing out ever since, but now my brain is just a little fuzzy around the edges. Iapos;m also able to eat things that arenapos;t crackers and chicken soup without throwing them back up. This is a huge relief. Everything was either too salty or too sweet, even my momapos;s deliciously fluffy, very mild scrambled eggs. I had to water down gatorade for chrissake. Iapos;m still incredibly tired, and incredibly thirsty, but I can manage little chores. This is a good thing, as I had to postpone a trip to Jacksonville because mom is still limited to lifting no more than 4lbs. This rule must be strictly adhered to, and excludes the lifting of the vast majority of our worldly goods. Sheapos;s well enough after the surgery to drive a bit, so she takes dad to work in the mornings, and JD picks him up in the evenings, or vice versa.


Momapos;s been investing a little bit recently so the kids will each get some money when they turn 18 (weapos;ve all been putting a bit into their accounts since they were born), and sheapos;s also put the rest of her finances in order, in terms of her will. Dad makes the money, and mom manages it all, so I can only suppose this means his will is in order now as well.

It makes me feel strange when she talks about it. I know itapos;s important to get it all taken care of while theyapos;re healthy, and Iapos;m slowly steeling myself to make a living will in case anything happens to me (I strongly advise pretty much anyone to do this because there is nothing in this life which is certain), and my parents have those, I think, but now sheapos;s bringing money into it, and money makes me uncomfortable. Iapos;m a beneficiary in something with lots of letters, I dunno what it was because I was trying to keep my stomach from turning itself inside out. She wants us to sell the house and split the money evenly between we seven, or one of us keep it and "buy the others out" like Aunt LeAnna did with Nonnieapos;s house. Speaking of, it was her birthday yesterday, and the 16th is Aunt Sueapos;s I think. I know itapos;s Russapos; birthday. Heapos;ll be 40. My oldest sibling will be 40.

Thatapos;s an odd thought. 16 years between us, and I remember very sharply the smell of his studded leather jacket, while the burn from his motorcycle on my ankle is a ghost. His pretty blonde (platonic) friend Cindy would bounce me on her knees, and I would whisper with Debbie that I hoped he would marry Cindy, but now I canapos;t remember her face.

Megatron Co. Went up to Kansas City to visit for the occasion. Coffee and girl talk with Leslie, discussing Blues artists, my boys, growing up too fast, and Petrea a train ride away? Youapos;re crazy if you think Iapos;m not jealous, but I hope they have a blast.


I miss my boyfriend like a big emo dork. :apos;(
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